


in every dream home a heartache

by mimiwrites



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Arguing, Break Up, Explicit Language, Getting Back Together, M/M, Multi, sorta...
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-09
Updated: 2020-12-19
Packaged: 2021-03-09 18:55:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 7,421
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27971165
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mimiwrites/pseuds/mimiwrites
Summary: Even the most loving relationships can go sour, if you let it. Bitter words said in the heat of the moment can cut the deepest. When it goes bad, do you give up? Or do you fight for it?In short: bokuto and kuroo get into a huge arguement and take it out on daichi, unsure of where their relationship stands after, and coming together to try and mend it.
Relationships: Bokuto Koutarou/Kuroo Tetsurou, Bokuto Koutarou/Kuroo Tetsurou/Sawamura Daichi, Bokuto Koutarou/Sawamura Daichi, Kuroo Tetsurou/Sawamura Daichi
Comments: 51
Kudos: 193





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> no one asked for bokurodai angst but i was in a mood when i wrote this a few months back. i decided why the hell not let me return to it and post it. i know its a little ooc but... i'll do my best to keep them as in character as possible. it will be angsty but i promise there will be a happy ending!

“Have you had a moment force the whole heart to grow or retract? Or just shrink? Does the heart shrink?” - La Dispute, _all our bruised bodies and the whole heart shrinks_

  
  
  


A light snow falls over Daichi as he walks home from work. It’s not unpleasant, and he only lives about 10 minutes away. Besides, the thought of what awaits him at his apartment is enough to make his entire body feel warm.

He’s been dating Bokuto and Kuroo for about 9 months, living with them for 3. It’s been the best time of his life. The whole thing still felt so new and yet so much like home. It was like something in his life finally clicked, the puzzle pieces finally falling into place. He feels so lucky to not only have found one person just perfect for him, but two. Two amazing people to love and be loved by.

Yes, he’s sentimental, he knows. But god, it’s everything he ever hoped for. As a kid, Daichi was never really sure what he wanted to be when he grew up. But he knew he wanted to fall in love, and be someone’s boyfriend, or even husband. That last thing could wait, he thinks now, he’s in no rush. He’s perfectly happy with where their relationship is at now.

And sure, there are little things he's had to adjust to. Things that sometimes got on his nerves, but what relationship didn't have compromises? What was a relationship good for if you couldn't grow in it? 

When he reaches the front door he pulls out his keys and smiles to himself. The keychain is probably a bit too juvenile for someone his age, but he doesn’t care. The three of them have a matching set; cute figurines of their mascots from high school. It’s cheesy, but volleyball is what brought them all together, and Bokuto came up with the idea, so it was important. He keeps his smile as he opens the door and steps inside.

Immediately, Daichi can tell something is wrong. No one greets him, and the air in their apartment is thick with tension. His face morphs into one of confusion and concern. 

“Kou? Tetsu?” he calls out, slipping out of his shoes and dropping his keys on the counter. 

He walks into the living room, and finds his two boyfriends glaring at each other. 

“Hey, is everything alright?” Daichi asks, glancing cautiously between them. He’s never seen them like this. Staring at each other with pure rage. Like they hated each other. It made his heart race. 

“No, everything isn't alright, Testu—“ Bokuto starts, but Kuroo immediately interrupts him. 

“Oh, of course, run to Daichi for help and blame it all on me. You can’t even fight your own battles,” Kuroo spits venomously. 

Bokuto growls and steps into his space, Kuroo doesn’t move an inch to back down. 

“Why, afraid it might ruin your perfect reputation? You know what your problem is?” Bokuto asks harshly. 

Kuroo laughs bitterly. It sounds to Daichi like broken glass. 

“Oh, I’m begging you to tell me, Bo. What’s my problem?”

“That you’re so goddamn self centered, you need everyone to like you and think you’re perfect,” Bokuto tells him, jabbing a finger into his chest. 

“Guys, stop,” Daichi tries, but his plea falls upon deaf ears. 

“Right, cuz you don’t need the whole world to love you. You have a fucking breakdown at any minor inconvenience!” Kuroo shouts. 

Daichi isn’t even sure if they realize he’s still there. He feels invisible and helpless, and scared. He’s never seen them argue like this. This isn’t even arguing anymore, it’s just plain fighting. It breaks his heart to hear them talk to each other so viciously, he knows this isn’t like them. 

“I do not have a fucking breakdown,” Bokuto seethes, his eyes watering. 

“What? You gonna cry about it like you always do, you big baby?” Kuroo pushes forward, twisting the hypothetical knife in Bokuto’s side that he put there. “See, you can’t handle being told the truth. You’re so damn needy, you need to be coddled like a damn kid.”

“Tetsurou, stop, that’s enough,” Daichi says, firmer this time. Kuroo has crossed the line, and he knows, he knows that under normal circumstances his Tetsu would never say things like this.

“Stay out of this,” Kuroo spits towards him. “This has nothing to do with you.”

Oh. So that’s how he felt. 

Daichi is the most recent addition to this relationship, Kuroo and Bokuro were already together by the time he entered the relationship. It felt as if Kuroo were saying to him, ‘Mind your business, this is about my relationship with Bokuto, stay out of it.’ Like he wasn’t apart of what they had together. It felt like a stab to the heart. 

But he tries to push past it. Kuroo didn’t mean it, he tells himself. He couldn’t have meant it. And Bokuto was fully crying now. 

“If only everyone knew what an asshole you are!” Bokuto shouts at Kuroo, fully lost to his anger and grief. “You put on a fake personality every time you talk to someone else so that they’ll like you!”

Daichi knows that cuts deep. Everything they’ve been throwing at each other are things they’ve said to each other in private, in confidence. Things they’ve comforted each other about before into the early hours of the morning. They bore their weaknesses to each other, just to now use it against them as a weapon. 

“Guys, stop it, you need to calm down,” Daichi says, but they completely ignore him. 

“Sorry that people like me more than they like you!” Kuroo yells back. “Excuse me for being more popular than you! Jesus, this isn’t high school, grow the hell up!”

“That’s rich coming from you, you’re still hanging on to the glory days of high school because you know that’s when you peaked! Showing up to Nekoma practices uninvited, just let it go!” Bokuto laughs madly. “You’re pissed I got on a professional team and you didn't! You’re jealous.”

Bokuto crosses his arms like he’s figured out some great secret, and Kuroo looks like he’s about to break something. Daichi takes a step forward to stand between them, concerned their tightly closed fists won’t stay by their sides much longer. 

“Koutarou, please, just listen to me—“ Daichi tries again, this time trying to reason with Bokuto. 

Bokuto spins on him hotly and throws his hands up in the air. 

“Oh my god, just fuck off! This isn’t about you!” he shouts at Daichi angrily.

The perfect picture that Daichi thought was his life shatters like glass. Kuroo and Bokuro go back to fighting, but Daichi doesn’t hear it, not really. He isn’t paying attention anymore to what they’re saying. They don’t stop him as he turns around, heads for the door, and walks out.


	2. Chapter 2

“And, I built a home, For you, For me. Until it disappeared, From me, From you.” - **The Cinematic Orchestra** , _To Build a Home_

  
  


When Asahi opens his front door, he is not expecting to see his best friend standing there looking so completely broken. 

“Oh, Daichi,” he sighs emphatically. He opens his arms and Daichi practically falls into them. He hasn’t seen him like this since Daichi’s dad died. It was the kind of despair that losing a loved one brings out in a person.

Asahi brings him inside and they sit together on his couch, his arm staying around his shoulders.

“What happened?”

“It was bad, Asahi,” Daichi tells him. “They were shouting—I don’t even know what it was about—and they acted like, like I wasn’t even there.”

Asahi rubs his back as the tears begin to fall from his eyes. 

“They acted like my opinion didn’t even matter, like it was completely between them. And maybe it was. Maybe—” He let out a pitiful sob. “Maybe I’m not a part of whatever they have.”

He feels a little stupid to want to be apart of their arguement, but it’s not because he wanted to fight. He wants to help them, always. And if something happened that upset them, especially something that puts their relationship in jeopardy, he wants to help find a solution.

Asahi sighs deeply, thinking carefully of what to say. He knows how important this is to Daichi, this being his first big relationship. He even moved down here to be a part of it. Asahi at least had a career here, Daichi came here with only the promise that he would be closer to the people he loved. And now he’s sitting on Asahi’s couch, crying and broken.

“I’m so, so sorry, Daichi,” Asahi says. “You didn’t deserve for them to make you feel that way.”

“I just—I don’t know what I did wrong.”

“You didn’t do anything wrong.”

Daichi wants to believe him, he knows Asahi is right. But it still feels like he did the wrong thing in that situation. That perhaps if he had just done something different, it wouldn’t have gone the way it did. He rethinks everything he did this week, this month, this entire relationship. Because he knows them both to be kind and loving, not at all what he saw earlier tonight. Maybe it’s just that he’s not as a part of the relationship as he originally thought he was. Which isn’t what he wants. It’s not what he thought he was getting into. 

“I love them both equally,” he says sadly. “I thought...it was the same for them. God, I’m such an idiot.”

“Daichi, no, you’re not,” Asahi reassures him, holding him tighter. 

“I mean, they were dating already, and have known each other longer. How can I compete with that?”

“Daichi,” Asahi repeats. “This isn’t on you. They’re the ones who messed up, ok? Not you.”

Daichi sniffles and sags against him. 

“What do you think’ll happen now?” he asks.

“I… don’t know. I think that depends on what they do, and what you want.”

Daichi hums, contemplating it for himself. What does he want? Of course he wants to be with his boyfriends, but after tonight… he’s not sure where that puts him. He can’t be a part of this relationship if it’s not equal. He won’t.

“Wanna call Suga?” Asahi asks.

“No way,” Daichi snorts, wiping his eyes. “He’d kill them.”

“I know, that’s why I offered.”

“Thanks for everything, by the way. I’m really glad I have you here.”

“Me too, Dai. You can stay with me as long as you want while you figure things out.”

Daichi nods, feeling exhausted. Truthfully, he has no intentions of going back tonight, or even tomorrow. His chest aches, but he knows what he wants well enough to not go back just because he loves them. Loving them isn’t enough, not if they don’t love him the same. The thought breaks his heart, but he won’t let himself get hurt even more. 

Asahi sets him up on the couch with a pillow and some sheets. Even with how exhausted he is, Daichi can’t sleep. He misses his boyfriends. He knows he shouldn’t but he keeps his phone close, glances at it every minute. He keeps thinking he feels it vibrate with a text, but when he checks his phone the notifications are empty. They haven’t noticed he’s left, or they don’t care. Both scenarios tug at his heart. 

  
  


*** * ***

  
  


Bokuto cries into Akaashi’s couch pillow on the floor as he makes them tea. He couldn’t be around Kuroo right now and think clearly. He knows he can think, if given the chance, the right environment. He isn’t stupid. He isn’t. 

“You shoulda heard what he said!” Bokuto cries. “He threw everything he knows I’m sensitive about in my face! But god forbid I bring up any of his issues, then suddenly I’m the asshole.”

“You have known each other for a long time, there are a lot of things you both have on each other,” Akaashi says as he places the tea on the coffee table. “I’m sorry he used it against you.”

“He was so mean, Akaashi. And… and so was I.” Remembering what he had said, the guilt made its home in his chest. 

“What was the fight about?”

Bokuto furrows his brows, trying to think back. “I… don't even remember, now.” Whatever it was, it clearly wasn’t all that important. Not something worth such a huge fight. 

“What will you do now?”

“I don’t know,” Bokuto mumbles. “I don’t wanna break up or anything. Even after what he said, I still love him.”

“So tell him,” Akaashi says gently. “It sounds like you both said some pretty terrible things, but it isn’t too late, Bokuto.”

“But what if it is? What if I messed it up for good?”

“Wasn’t it you who told me, ‘it’s not impossible, it’s just hard’?”

Bokuto wipes at his face, thinking hard. Kuroo was an asshole back there, but so was he. Neither of them should have lost their cool or said the things they did. Even though it hurts like hell, him and Kuroo have been through so much together. Not just bad, of course. More than the bad was the good. All the times they’d make each other laugh so hard they cried, the way his face always hurt after seeing Kuroo from smiling too much.

There has to be a chance they can get through this, too. With love, there’s always hope, right? 

  
  


*** * ***

  
  


Kuroo sulks on Kenma’s couch, glaring at the wall like it personally offended him. He isn’t crying, but he is clearly upset. Kenma doesn’t turn him out, he understands this fight is different. It’s bigger than all the other one’s they’ve had, which isn’t even that many. But after over an hour of listening to his best friend rant, he’s worried Kuroo will stay mad instead of coming to his senses.

“Bo is so childish, I swear,” Kuroo grumbles. “Seriously, it feels impossible to have an adult conversation with him sometimes. He’s so immature.”

“Maybe…” Kenma says. “But you’re also being immature.”

Kuroo is stunned to silence for a few moments as he takes that in. It was almost like Kenma threw a bucket of cold water on him, dousing the fire that was raging in his head. 

“Fuck. Fuck,” Kuroo sighs. “I said things I really shouldn’t have. Things I don’t even mean. I was just so angry… which I know, I know isn’t a good excuse. I just…” 

Kuroo brings the heel of his palms to his eyes and groans. All he can see is the hurt look of betrayal on Bokuto’s face. It doesn’t matter how mad he was, or what Bokuto had said, he shouldn’t have reacted the way he did. 

“Are you going to break up?” Kenma asks.

“God, I hope not.”

Kenma nods in agreement. He didn’t like seeing Kuroo so miserable, not like this. And he knows Bokuto makes him really, really happy. 

“The longer you wait, the harder it’ll be to make up,” Kenma says with a pat on the back.

“Yeah. You’re right. When did you get so wise?” Kuroo chuckles weakly.

Suddenly, Kuroo’s phone buzzes. It’s a text from Bokuto, and he holds his breath as he opens it. 

**Bokuto:** can we meet back at the apt so we can talk?

 **Bokuto:** im sorry. I love you

Kuroo lets out a shaky sigh of relief.

“Damn, guess he beat me to it,” Kuroo tells Kenma. “He’s more mature than I give him credit for.”

He laughs at himself for being an idiot. He sends him a text back before heading for the door to put on his shoes and coat. 

**Kuroo** : me too. I’ll meet you there. love you

  
  


*** * ***

  
  


Bokuto stands outside the apartment building despite it being two in the morning and freezing cold. He’s too anxious, and wants to see Kuroo as soon as possible. When he hears footsteps, he immediately straightens up. 

Kuroo is looking halfway between him and the ground as he walks over to him. He opens his mouth to say something, perhaps a greeting or any apology. Bokuto pulls him into a hug before he can get the words out. Kuroo wraps his arms around him tightly and breathes him in. It feels like the first breath he’s taken in hours. 

“I know we still gotta talk about things,” Bokuto says without letting go. “But I just want you to know how sorry I am and how much I love you. I know it’s only been a couple hours but I missed you so much. I know that makes me kinda needy, but I don’t like being away from you, not like that.”

“Oh, baby, no,” Kuroo says gently, kissing the side of his head. “You’re not needy. I’m sorry I said that. I love that about you. I like feeling needed. I know I can be a stuck up asshole sometimes, I promise I’ll work on it. I love you so much. I’m sorry for what I said.”

“Me too,” Bokuto sniffles, and Kuroo doesn’t mind one bit that he’s getting tears on his new coat. “I love that you still care about Nekoma, really. I think you’d actually be a really good coach.”

“Thanks, Kou.” Kuroo squeezes him tightly once more before pulling away just far enough to look into his eyes. “It’s late, let’s go to bed. We’ll talk more in the morning, okay?”

Bokuto nods and takes his hand, using the other to wipe his eyes. Kuroo squeezes his hand reassuringly and kisses his cheek. 

When they unlock the door, everything's the same as they left it. The lights are still on, the dishes are still in the sink. It looks the same, even though something about it feels different. It feels off. 

They try to be quiet as they shuffle to take their shoes and coats off. They think Daichi is probably asleep by now, and so they don’t want to wake him. They’ll explain everything to him when he wakes up. 

They get to the bedroom, and are confused to find it empty. 

“Dai?” Kuroo calls out. 

They walk back into the living room, but he’s not on the couch either. 

“Dai?” Kuroo repeats, looking around. “You home?”

“Tetsu…” 

The way Bokuto says his name makes him go cold. He looks over and sees Bokuto staring at something on the counter with a horror stricken face. Kuroo walks over quickly and sees that it’s Daichi’s keys. 

“The door was locked,” Bokuto says quietly. “Maybe he forgot his keys so he couldn’t get back in?”

Kuroo continues to stare at the keys like they’re a death sentence. Everything they’d said to Daichi, the way they treated him, all comes flooding back to them at once. It finally starts to click. 

“You don’t,” Bokuto’s eyes start to water again. “You don’t think he—“

Kuroo’s eyes go wide and he covers his mouth with both hands in shock at the realization. 

“Oh, fuck.”

“Oh god,” Bokuto croaks, grabbing at his hair. “I—I told him to… Oh my god, I’m such an idiot, I can’t believe I said that, oh my god…”

Kuroo is speechless. He can’t believe he let himself get so caught up in his own self-righteous anger that, not only did he treat Bokuto like shit, he yelled at Daichi, who was only trying to help. 

“Oh my god, he left,” Bokuto sobs, each one rocking through his whole body. “He left and it’s all my fault.”

“No, it’s my fault too,” Kuroo says, pulling him into his arms. 

“I told him to leave…”

“We both fucked up.”

“Do you… do you think he hates us?” Bokuto asks, barely a whisper.

“No, no, you know he’s not like that,” Kuroo reassures, but his own heart feels like it’s in pieces. 

“Do you think he’ll come back?”

At that, Kuroo takes pause. He wants Daichi back, he knows Bokuto does too, but they were pretty awful towards him, who had nothing to do with what they were arguing about. But they took it out on him anyway.

Daichi, who is sweet, and kind of terrifying, and helpful, and wonderful, and funny, and sturdy, and who’d made them both fall in love with him without even trying. 

They treated him like shit, and he didn’t deserve that. 

“I don’t know,” Kuroo mumbles, and Bokuto lets another sob. 

They spend the next hour texting Daichi, trying to call him, trying to explain everything. They tell him that they were talking things through, and how sorry they both are, how much they love him. Begging him to let them talk to him, to try and make up for it, asking to let them know he was at least safe. All of it goes unanswered. 

“What do we do?” Bokuto asks hopelessly. 

“It’s late, maybe he’s asleep,” Kuroo suggests, although he doesn’t fully believe it himself. He has a feeling Daichi is just as awake as they are, wherever he is. Probably Asahi’s, but it wouldn’t be a good idea to go over tonight. Daichi would have to invite them in. “We should try and get some sleep, too. We’ll try again in the morning, okay?”

“Okay,” Bokuto sighs. “We’ll try again tomorrow.”

They hold each other in their bed, which feels so much more empty now. Kuroo can’t help but stare at the empty space. In the darkness he starts to let the guilt and despair wreck through him. Bokuto wraps his arms around him tightly, and Kuroo places one of his hands over his. They both hope they didn’t ruin this for good. They hope they’ll get another chance to make things right. They hope Daichi is okay.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> :))
> 
> I hope yall are enjoying (??) the ride with me! I'm trying a lot of new things in this fic, not just for them as a pairing but for me as a writer. Thanks for tagging along with me! Sorry for the pain!


	3. Chapter 3

“So let go, so let go, jump in. Oh, well, whatcha waiting for? It's alright, 'Cause there's beauty in the breakdown” — **Frou Frou** , _Let Go_

  
  
  


The night is spent restless, plagued by loneliness, guilt, nightmares, and more tears. Bokuto and Kuroo are exhausted when they finally decide to give up on sleep and get out of bed. They’ve been checking their phones nearly every waking moment, but no new notifications are waiting for either of them. 

Bokuto sits up on the bed and scrolls through his messages to Daichi. If he scrolls back far enough, he can see the memes they’ve sent each other, the cute good luck texts, the I Love You’s. His heart aches to be able to receive them again. 

**[8:06] Bokuto:** hey dai. sorry for texting so much. i miss u 

**[8:07] Bokuto:** i miss u so much 

**[8:07] Bokuto:** i’m really sorry abt everything. i wanna see u. pls let me try and make it up to u

 **[8:08] Bokuto:** i’m sorry 

**[8:08]** **Bokuto:** i’ll stop texting u so much now until i hear back

 **[8:09] Bokuto:** if. i mean. i hope i do. 

**[8:11] Bokuto:** i’m sorry. i love you

He worries it’s too much. He always sends a rapid flurry of messages when he texts. Daichi usually sends it all in one, but he doesn’t mind. He would do anything to get just one text back from Daichi now. 

Bokuto decides to take a shower while Kuroo makes coffee. 

Kuroo checks his phone pretty much every 30 seconds to see if there’s a notification from Daichi. He thinks he hears his phone vibrate, or can feel it go off in his hand or pocket, but it doesn’t. At first he hopes that Daichi is just sleeping in, and that’s why he still hasn’t replied yet. But deep down, he knows. Daichi doesn’t want to talk to them. And truly, he doesn’t blame him. 

That doesn’t stop him from trying, though. He gives calling another go, always having preferred that to texting. He remembers how in high school they’d talk on the phone for hours, staying up much later than they should have on school nights. He could never get enough of Daichi’s voice. The thought that he may never get to hear it again breaks his heart. 

Kuroo’s not surprised when his call goes straight to voicemail. 

“Um. Hey. I’m,” Kuroo lets out a deep sigh. “There’s so much I wanna say, need to say. I’d really like to be able to say it to you in person. Please. Bo and I—We—I,” He takes a moment to take another breath. Why’s it feel so hard to talk? To breathe? “Please. We miss you, and we are truly so sorry for what we said. I know that doesn’t suddenly make things okay, but… please just call or text back. Please let me know you’re okay. I love you.”

He ends the call and takes a shaky breath. He hopes it wasn’t so long that the message didn’t go through. He hopes Daichi listens to it. He hopes Daichi responds. 

He doesn’t. 

Kuroo hovers over Asahi’s contact in his phone. Should he call? No, he probably won’t pick up. But he has a feeling that Daichi probably went to Asahi’s last night, that or he took a train back to Miyagi, which is such a horrible scenario he doesn’t really want to consider it. 

**[8:29] Kuroo:** Hey, sorry to bother you. Is Daichi with you? If he is, I promise I’m not going to show up unannounced. I understand if he doesn’t wanna talk rn. I just wanna make sure he’s ok. 

**[8:36] Asahi:** he’s safe. 

Kuroo lets out a sigh of relief, but he doesn’t miss how Asahi specified that Daichi was safe, not that he was okay.

**[8:36] Kuroo:** Thank you. 

Kuroo goes to type out to let him know if there’s anything he can do, or if he can come over, but he erases it before he can send it. The ball is in Daichi’s court. They’ve made it clear they want to talk and make amends, it’s up to him to decide if he wants to. If he thinks they even can. 

“Well?” Bokuto asks, coming into the kitchen. 

“He’s at Asahi’s.”

“Did he say if he’s coming back?”

Kuroo sighs sadly. “I don’t think he wants to see us right now. Not yet.”

“But he will, right?” Bokuto’s voice is hopeful, but scared. “He will want to see us again?”

“I… Kou, I don’t know.” Kuroo leans on the counter to close his eyes and put his head in his hands. “We… were really outta line there.”

“We’ve never gotten into a fight… not like that. It hasn’t been that bad before.”

“I know. I know.”

It’s quiet between them for a few moments. The air is almost stifling. The apartment is so quiet. It’s never this quiet. 

“I've been thinking,” Bokuto starts hesitantly. “I, um, I think I wanna start seeing a therapist.”

Kuroo looks up in surprise. “Yeah?”

Bokuto nods with his eyes cast down and wrings his hands together. “Yeah, I’ve actually been thinking about it for a while. I… I know it’s always been like, a thing with me. The way my mood can just change. And last night it changed in a way I haven’t felt before, and that scares me. I don’t want that to happen again.”

Kuroo moves to him, putting his hand on the back of Bokuto’s neck and pulling him into an embrace. Bokuto wraps his arms around him tightly. 

“I’ll help you look into it,” Kuroo says softly, then places a kiss to the side of his head. “I’m really, really proud of you for taking this step.”

Bokuto lets out a shaky sigh of relief and holds on to Kuroo for dear life. 

“I love you, Tetsu. I feel really lucky to have you, I want you to know that.”

“It goes both ways, Kou.”

They stay like that, wrapped in each other’s arms, for a few moments longer. They give each other a reassuring squeeze and then let go. They don’t want to, but they need to get their day started. 

It’s Saturday, but they don’t go out. They busy themselves with chores, usually a shared activity between the three of them on Sundays. But they have nothing else to do, and it keeps them from completely falling into despair, even though all they can still think about is Daichi. 

They clean the entire apartment, do all the laundry (which is hard when they get to Daichi’s clothes), and put away all the dishes. It’s a miserable day, because they are missing their boyfriend. 

Bokuto and Kuroo do talk things through further, about themselves and how things got to the point it did last night. They don’t discuss the possibility that Daichi won’t come back. If that’s how things go, they’ll deal with it then. 

The day drags on miserably, and all too soon it’s night. They still haven’t heard anything from Daichi. 

“I really don’t wanna go to bed without him again,” Bokuto says quietly. They’ve been sitting together on the couch, the TV on but neither paying attention. 

Kuroo rubs his hand on Bokuto’s shoulder. “I know, Bo. Me neither. But we can’t force him.”

“I know, I know,” Bokuto groans helplessly. “I just wish we could talk to him.”

“Me too.”

Suddenly, both their phones ping and they jolt up. It’s a notification in their group chat. 

**[8:59] Daichi:** if you still wanna talk, you can come here. 

“Oh, thank god,” Bokuto sighs as Kuroo quickly types a response. 

**[8:59] Kuroo:** Yes, absolutely. What time?

 **[9:01]** **Daichi:** before 10, or tomorrow after 8.

 **[9:01] Bokuto:** we’ll head over rn 

Kuroo grabs Bokuto’s hand, suddenly aware that he's trembling. Bokuto gives it a reassuring squeeze. They both take a deep breath, then immediately head out the door. 

  
  


*** * ***

  
  


Asahi’s always been an intimidating guy, but it’s the more prevalent now than its ever been as he opens his front door. Probably because he’s actually trying to be in this moment. Usually they all get along great, especially him and Bokuto, but the anger and disappointment is clear on his face. 

“You better make this count,” Asahi tells them sternly, and they wince. “I know I don’t have to tell you what happens if you don’t fix this right now.”

“Yeah,” Kuroo nods. “Thanks for letting us over.”

“I wouldn’t have if he didn’t want you to.” Asahi shrugs, then motions for them to follow him once they’ve both removed their shoes. 

He leads them to the living room, and the breath gets knocked out of them. Daichi is sitting on the couch, but he looks so unlike himself. He looks nervous, and miserable, and tired. The guilt punches them in the gut. 

Bokuto moves to hug him on instinct, wanting to take away all the worry and pain, but he stops himself. They talked about this on the way over. He’s got to let Daichi make the move, to invite them back in. 

Asahi looks at Daichi, still using his body almost as a barrier between the three of them. 

“I’ll be in the next room, let me know if you need anything,” he tells Daichi. It’s an unspoken threat that he’ll kick them out by any means necessary if it comes down to it. He’s not usually a fighty guy, much preferring avoiding confrontation, but Daichi is his best friend and so he’s not going to let anything bad happen to him if he can help it. 

“Yeah,” Daichi says softly, his voice not even sounding like his own. “Thanks.”

Asahi gives Bokuto and Kuroo one more pointed look, then leaves. 

The couch has an L shape to it, allowing for Daichi to sit by himself on the shorter end. Bokuto takes a seat across from him, with Kuroo then sitting beside him. Daichi stares at them quietly, the first real acknowledgement he’s given them since they walked in. 

It feels painful to be in this situation, it’s never felt so distant between them even now that they were sitting across from each other. Kuroo swallows thickly, then goes to take the first leap. 

“So…” he starts.

“We’re really, really sorry,” Bokuto blurts out. “Like, I can’t even say enough how sorry we are.”

His eyes are already glossed over, having been that way since they walked in. He can feel the tears sitting right behind his eyes, trying to push their way out. 

“I know that doesn’t make everything okay,” he continues. “I know it doesn’t automatically fix things, but I want to. I want to fix it. If you’ll let me.”

“I…” Daichi shakes his head and casts his eyes down. “You guys really made me feel like I didn’t belong there.”

“I know, and I’m so sorry. I won’t let it happen again,” Bokuto assures him. 

“I wanna believe you,” Daichi finally looks up at him, his eyes glossy and pink. “But if I’m being honest, I’m really struggling to.”

And if that isn’t just a blade through the heart. 

“Babe, I’m…” Bokuto says quietly, full of shame. “God, I’m so sorry. That’s never how I want you to feel.” 

Kuroo wants to say something, he knows he needs to, but now that he’s here the words won’t come out. It’s not that he doesn’t want to say them, he just can’t get his throat to work. He feels like if he tries to speak, he’ll crack. That he’ll break.

He tries to allow himself time to pull himself together. Besides, he wants Bokuto to have this moment with Daichi. The three of them need to come together, of course, but it’s important for them to each have their own apology to Daichi. 

“But it is,” Daichi says gravely. “It is how I feel. I just… it made me wonder if I even belong with you guys.”

Bokuto starts crying, unable to keep himself from it any longer. He feels like this is it, the moment he’s been fearing, that Daichi is breaking up with them. 

“Like, for me,” Daichi continues, wiping at one of his eyes. “I feel for you both equally. It didn’t feel like in that moment that it was the same for you guys. Like, that you guys have your own thing that I’m only sometimes a part of, when you guys want me to be.”

His voice breaks partway through, and he's given up trying to wipe all the tears from his face. Bokuto wants to wipe them for him, to hold him, to make all his doubts and worries go away. He hates being the reason for it. 

“No,” Bokuto shakes his head. “No, no, no. I know me and Tetsu have known each other longer, but it doesn’t put him above you. I love you both the same.” His voice breaks now too. ”I love you both so much.”

Kuroo still struggles to find his voice. He can’t stop trembling, either. The shaking from his hands seems to have moved to his whole body. He feels the same as Bo, he loves both of them equally, wouldn’t put one above the other. He wants to say it, to show it. 

“You guys… can’t treat me like that,” Daichi laments. “You can’t treat each other like that.”

“I know, and you’re right, and we are gonna try our hardest not to ever again.” Bokuto bites his lip, nervous for what he’s about to say next. “And I… I’m actually gonna start going to therapy.”

Daichi seems surprised by this, his eyes widening as he blinks away more tears. Then, for the first time in about 24 hours, he smiles. 

“Really? Kou, that’s amazing. I’m so proud of you.”

Bokuto can’t help but smile too. It feels like a huge relief to get it off his chest. He trusts his boyfriends, but he was still worried how they might take the idea of him going to therapy, which is why he kept it to himself for so long. His family, while loving and mostly well intentioned, didn’t believe in therapy, or that it was only for people who were ‘truly deranged.’ 

“I promise,” Bokuto says. “I’m really, really going to try to make sure what happened last night never happens again, and that you always feel loved and equal, too.” His smile falters as soon as he remembers that he hasn’t confirmed if Daichi is taking them back. “If you’ll let me, of course. 

Daichi is silent for a moment before he smiles and wipes his eyes. “Yeah. Yes, of course.”

Bokuto reaches his hand out for him, but then once again remembers himself and hesitates. Daichi quickly grabs it, and they both smile so big it could light the room. They’re both sniffling, smiling messes. 

They both turn to look at Kuroo, who is startlingly quiet. He’s got almost a horror stricken look on his face, not at all what either of them were expecting. 

“Tetsu?” Daichi asks softly. 

And then Kuroo bursts into tears. 

“Fuck,” he chokes out, sobs ripping through his body. “I just—Fuck, I—I’m sorry—I can’t even—“

Bokuto uses his free hand to rub his back. He’s never seen Kuroo like this, and neither has Daichi.

“You’re both—so good,” Kuroo says between sobs. “and I—I’ve been such an asshole—and you guys don’t deserve that.”

“Tetsu…” Bokuto mumbles gently. 

Kuroo tries to take deep breaths but he’s so deep into his sobbing that he can’t. He’s held this all in for so long. He’s usually not much of a crier. He prefers to hold it in, to be the one that comforts others. He’s told himself that if he doesn’t cry, he’s being strong. That he has to keep it in for everyone else’s sake. He doesn’t hold anyone else to this standard, just himself. But it’s taken such a toll on him, especially these past 24 hours. It feels like years worth of tears are coming out now. 

And these two men—he loves them so much. He believes they ought to have the best, and he doesn’t feel like he’s been meeting that standard. Not for a while now. He wants them to be the happiest they can be. He doesn’t want to get in the way of that, ever. 

“I’m sorry,” he sobs, unable to say anything else. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m—“

He doesn’t realize what’s happening until Daichi is holding him. 

“I know you are,” Daichi whispers. 

Kuroo wraps his arms around him and cries harder into Daichi’s neck. Bokuto joins in, wrapping his arms around both of them and resting his head on Kuroo’s shoulder. It’s relief, shame, love, remorse. But it’s home, and he feels safe. 

He’s not sure how long he cries, but eventually he’s able to even his breathing. Tears still slip free from his eyes, and he looks like a wreck, but he’s finally able to speak again. 

“I… Thank you,” he says to both of them before looking directly at Daichi. “I’m sorry, I promise I mean it. I really will prove it.”

“I know,” Daichi says soothingly, holding Kuroo’s face in his right hand. “And I know how hard that was for you, being emotional like that.”

Before Kuroo can really start to feel further shame pool in his stomach, Daichi rubs a tear away with his thumb. 

“I know it’s because you trust us, and I’m so glad that you do.”

“I love you, I really, really do,” Kuroo says as he places his hand over Daichi’s. He reaches for Bokuto with his other and intertwines their fingers. “I love you both, so damn much.”

“Me too,” Daichi smiles softly. “I love you guys.”

Bokuto takes Daichi’s free hand so that they can all be interlocked in some way. 

“Thanks, Dai,” he says. “Thanks for letting us try again. For giving us another chance.”

Daichi leans forward, with Bokuto meeting him halfway, and places a sweet kiss upon his lips. He turns Kuroo’s face up to his next and kisses him, too. 

Kuroo is still trying to calm down and collect himself, but he can’t help the few tears and hiccups that escape him. It’s much quieter now, and it’s taken almost everything out of him. He feels like he just ran a marathon. 

“I don’t know about you guys, but I’m feeling pretty exhausted,” Daichi smiles. “Can we go home now?”

Kuroo laughs, wet with tears. “Please.”

Bokuto perks up, a wide grin breaking out on his face. 

“Really? Really? You’ll come back?” he asks excitedly. “You’ll come home?”

“Yeah.”

Bokuto nearly tackles him into a hug. 

“So…” Asahi drawls as he steps into the room, “I take it everything’s okay?”

“Yeah, we’re going home now,” Daichi tells him. “Thanks again, for everything. I know you know, but I’ll probably be thanking you for weeks.”

“Just don’t put me in headlocks for the next three months and we’ll call it even.”

Daichi laughs, and it’s music to his boyfriends’ ears. 

“I’ll text you tomorrow, okay?”

Daichi gives Asahi a deep hug before moving toward the door. He’s so relieved to be going home. Asahi’s couch was nice and all, but he misses his bed and the people in it. 

Kuroo is still sniffling as he slips on his shoes, and Bokuto stops at the door to put his hand on Asahi’s shoulder. 

“Thanks for taking care of our Daichi for us,” he says to him. Asahi knows he means it, and places his hand over Bokuto’s to give it a light squeeze. 

“Just don’t let it happen again.”

“We won’t.”

Asahi knows he’s good for it, so he lets go and gives him a small smile. He’s still willing to give them hell if Daichi ever needs him to, but he has a hope, and a feeling, that he won’t need to. 

As soon as the three of them get home, they collapse on their bed. A tangle of limbs, with Daichi in the middle, immediately falling into a restful sleep. 

  
  


**Epilogue**

  
  


Daichi opens the door to be greeted by the delicious aroma of frying vegetables, and the amusing sound of his boyfriends bickering in the kitchen. 

At the sound of the door closing, they both poke their heads around the corner and gave Daichi big smiles. 

“Dai! Welcome home!” Bokuto exclaims, rushing to give Daichi a quick kiss before returning to the stove.

“Thanks, Kou. How was therapy today?” Daichi asks, following him into the kitchen. 

“Really good! She says I’m making lots of progress,” Bokuto tells him. 

“You are,” Daichi agrees, smiling at him proudly. 

“Hey, babe, how was work?” Kuroo asks, giving Daichi a small peck on the lips as well. 

“Kinda dragged today, I’m just glad to finally be home,” Daichi admits, then looks at the stir fry they’re making. “That smells amazing, anything I can do to help?”

“We were trying to surprise you and have it done before you got home,” Bokuto explains. 

“Yeah, but Kou got distracted and burned the veggies so we had to run out and get more,” Kuroo grins. 

“And who was distracting me?” Bokuto asks, pointing the spatula at Kuroo. “Kinda hard to cook and kiss at the same time, Tets.”

“It’s not his fault,” Daichi teases. “Tetsu isn’t exactly an expert in the kitchen.”

Kuroo pouts dramatically, causing them both to laugh and each give him a kiss. 

“Oho?” Kuroo smiles wickedly. “All I gotta do is pout and I’ll get kisses?”

Daichi laughs and shakes his head towards Bokuto. 

“Oh no, Kou, what have we done?”

“We’ve created a monster… a kisses monster!” Bokuto nearly jumps Kuroo and starts pressing sloppy kisses all over his face. 

“Dai, help me!” Kuroo laughs. 

“Oh, I’ll help,” Daichi grins, before joining Bokuto in the kiss barrage. 

“No! I’m melting!”

They’re all three of them a mess of kisses and giggles. The only thing that finally pulls them out of it is the smell of something burning. 

“Shit, not again!” Bokuto shouts, scrambling to try and save the veggies before they’re inedible. Kuroo and Daichi would eat it, anyway. 

Watching his boyfriends scramble around the kitchen brings a warmth to Daichi’s chest. He feels really lucky to be able to leave his worries at the doorstep, now, and just come home to affection from his two most favorite people. 

“Hey,” he says suddenly, causing them to stop and look at him. “I love you.”

Bokuto and Kuroo smile and respond nearly in unison. 

“I love you, too.”

And Daichi knows it to be true. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> aahhhh we're done! we made it! i got so sad writing this... it was hard at first, 1 because i wrote in present tense (which i never do), and 2 i dont tend to think of angsty ideas for this ship. but i hope yall liked it, thanks for coming on the journey with me! and thank you as well to everyone leaving me comments, it really encouraged me to get these chapters out quicker.   
> let me know what u think! 🖤🖤🖤

**Author's Note:**

> :-)
> 
> [twitter](https://twitter.com/fakeanimeboi/)


End file.
